In which your blogger bares her soul

For the first time in 18 months I am genuinely disillusioned. The last 6 months have been hard going, barely losing anything but still sticking to the plan. As the months have gone by I have found it harder and harder to stay motivated. Finally I have cracked.

We had our summer holiday last week, spending time in the glorious sunshine with friends and family. There was much indulgence - wine, cider, pancakes, ice cream and far too much bread. I am paying the price - for the first time really I have gained a few pounds and I can really feel it. I'm not sure how many pounds I have put on because I had a holiday booked in for slimming world this week but it's enough that my jeans (resigned to the drawer during the heatwave we have just had) are noticably tighter.

In a former life I wouldn't have even noticed a few pounds going on but now I feel it almost straight away. Physically I feel bloated, wobbly... and uncomfortable. Mentally I feel disheartened and let down with myself. I feel tired, worn down and barely have the motivation to refuse the bad things just now which isn't helping. Even seeing an old, unflattering picture last week didn't help. (Posted below with a new one of us).

I honestly am considering moving on to something else to lose this final 2-3 stone but I don't know what. I'm scared and lost and I dont know what to do for the best, whether to stick or twist.

What I do know is that I am not done.. not yet.