Control (of sorts)

Merry Christmas! I hope every one of you is having a lovely festive time. It's been a mixed one for us - Christmas day was lovely but aside from that we have spent the past week dipping in and out of ill health. Unfortunately the dreaded norovirus claimed us as its victims, and Heather now has tonsilitis. Nasty.

Since my last post I had my Christmas night out with work. My dream all year had been to wear a size 16 dress and wear one I did. I must confess I felt a million dollars on the night, but no way was I on plan or counting syns. The previous Wednesday had been my final weigh in before Christmas though (3lb off taking my 2012 loss to 6st 4lb) and control was nigh on impossible. Cake in the office? Sure. Buckets of wine? Why not. Yes, it's Christmas but unless I want to weigh in on the 9th with a massive gain (which I don't) then something has to give, so (Christmas day aside) I been mostly behaving in the day and going a bit off plan at night or vice versa. Stomach bug aside, naturally... I ate nothing then!

Basically after New year I have a week to sort myself out before I weigh in, get my new books and throw myself into 2013's challenge - REACHING TARGET. Hopefully on the 9th I can at least maintain my pre-Christmas weight, although to maybe even lose a little would be nice. I know that it will be hard to get back into it. I know the first few days properly back on it I will feel like I'm dying but I also know it's going to be ok, and I can do this. My one year anniversary is the end of January and it would be nice to be close to my 100lb by then but the thing is, since not losing it in 2012 it's less of a marker. My next challenge is to go for an interim target of another 2st 11lb (total loss 9st 1lb) and take it from there. Very probably another stone from there will be the right place, but I won't know until I'm nearly there. 2012 has been great for me, but 2013 is definitely going to be my year.

Now I'm off to have a Happy New Year and I hope you do too!

Mistletoe and wine

I am really struggling. Christmas is just around the corner and today was my last week at work before the big man comes to visit. I've tried my very best this week,despite having Friday night drinks with a couple of lovely friends and a group lunch with a bunch of mummies at Pizza Express on Saturday.

Oh, the wine!

Oh, the pizza!

Oh, the mince pies.

Mentally I am in a really mixed place. I want to stick to plan, I really do. With so much yummy going on though, this challenge is the greatest yet. December was always going to be tough and whilst I'm certainly not going to ruin my Christmas by being mean with myself, I also don't want to for too far off plan. I still have so far to go and I am going to have one hell of a battle to get back on track in January but Christmas really does come just once a year and I want to enjoy it. My other issue is my physical being - I'm starting to feel really good now when I'm dressed up but in my darkest moments I am still massively disheartened by what I see.

Really I would like to stay on plan as much as possible until Monday but I have nights out on Friday and Saturday and honestly, I know I won't be on plan then. Tomorrow is my last weigh in before Christmas and I won't weigh again until Jan 9th. Sounds like a long time but I have a full week after New Year to get back on plan. Basically I'm going to try and be as good as I can.

After all,  it's a whole year until next Christmas.

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat

But I'm not.

It's true I am now some way from achieving my 100lb loss in 2012, but I have lost 85lb (6st 1lb) and I know that's a great achievement. That's 4 dress sizes and a total of 52.25" of fat gone forever. I'm not done by far, but I look at these numbers with a small swell of pride. Lots of people have asked me how I stay motivated and I have various methods,  none of them is anything complicated but the are all helpful in their own ways.

I try to be kind to myself and I try not to give myself too much of a hard time (not always easy). I look at my book frequently, covered in stickers, and it shows me how far I've come. Every sticker and ring of the bell in class spurs me on. As does my own success.... and failure. If I don't lose,  I try harder the next week so I know I WILL lose the next week. When I lose then I float home to plot the loss on the Slimmimg World website, happy as a pig in mud. I really think motivation and success feed off one another. When I do well I feel motivated, and when I'm motivated I do well. If I can do this, anyone can because one thing that's held all of this together for the past 10.5 months  is belief in myself.

My main thing though is to keep my food interesting and use my syns. At the end of the day this is a lifestyle change for me and I need to know I can stick to this for the long haul and that won't happen if I pretend I'm never going to drink wine/eat pizza/dine out ever again. I don't want to be a big fat fatty again and I've got rid of all my clothes to make sure it can't happen. That said, December is proving to be a challenge already. Heather turned 4 last week (cake, pizza hut), plus there's boxes of chocolates a-go-go and wrapping presents never feels the same without a glass of wine (or this year a glass of alcoholic chocolate milk). It feels although the season to be merry is well and truly here, so I need to be careful that it's not all merry and no careful. I would feel different if I was target but with another 3-4 st still to go I simply can't lose control. 

The bonus is that I will be attending Christmas parties this year wearing a dress size I thought I would never be, and soon I'll be out of it the other side.

Because you've got to have a dream.

Dear Fatty

Dear Fatty,
Hi there. Remember me? Your diet? I know you've been playing about with me the last few weeks and I'm pleased to see you've been on track this week. Obviously you won't know until tonight how much (if anything) you have lost, but hopefully it's not a gain. It should be a nice loss, if the scales are to be believed, anyway. It needs to be a nice loss, to be honest. You have some very kind people around you (Fiona, Suzy, Ali) who have passed on some beautiful clothes, not to mention a gorgeous leather jacket from your mum... but you can't get the lard arse into them yet, can you? Ah well, if you carry on like this hopefully that beautiful purple dresses will be gracing the lard on Dec 21st at the Christmas party.
Yes, this week there has been ice cream, courtesy of award winning Hamilton ice cream parlour, Equis. Yes, there has been wine. Yes, there has been hunks of ciabatta.. but there has also been loads of free and superhero foods, plus lots of good quality home cooking. I'm pleased to see that. I'm sure the key to your so-far success is variety. You are never bored with food, and the family are all well fed and happy with their grub, homemade with fresh ingredients.
The next few weeks will be hard, I'm not going to lie to you. A 4yo's birthday, nights out, Christmas itself followed by Boxing Day... then New Year. Remember to be kind to yourself though, just stick to it as best you can between socialising, make some good choices and good things will happen.
If you struggle, dont worry. Just keep it up.. you're doing great.
Love,
Your Subconscious.

You say tomayto, I say tomato

There are various things in this life I would struggle without - my husband, my kids and wine all spring straight to mind. In terms of food, a good storecupboard is absolutely key in planning and preparing good quality, nutritious meals. I include the fridge freezer there too -after all, it's just a really cold cupboard, isn't it? I have kept almost all my fruit and veg in the fridge for a while (extending their lives significantly once taken out of those silly packets) and some dairy items have a really excellent shelf life. Fat free yoghurt and fromage frais both keep really well - ideal for keeping on standby to whip up a sauce or pudding - and bacon is another fridge must have.

It's a good idea to have a stash of basics at all times so you can always rustle something up. Wise at any time but especially when watching the scales. Not being a fan of packets of any kind really, my storecupboard largely consists of tins (tomatoes, pulses), dried goods (varieties of pasta and rice, couscous) and seasonings (soy, Worcestershire sauce, spices and herbs). I get a little nervous if I run low on pasta or rice and above all, tinned tomatoes. A tin of good quality chopped or plum tomatoes can go a long way, is a cheap and nutritious bulker and is versatile to boot. They can have so much added to them that some of through tomatoey-ness (yes that's a word) can almost be edited out for the non-tomato lover.

I buy them in 8s or 12s usually and that never lasts the month. As you know, I batch cook, so its not unusual for me to open a couple of tins at a time. Last week 2 went into chilli. Today 2 went into a sweet tomato and balsamic vinegar sauce for dinner (parpadelle in sweet tomato sauce with crumbled baked ricotta - thanks to Jamie Oliver's Dinners). I know loads of people who buy the cheapest tinned tomatoes out there, but I am actually really fussy about them. In my experience the cheap cans are full of tops and water and not much rich tomato. At the same time though, budget is important too. Feeding a family of four well in this economic climate can be tricky. I keep an eye out for offers in the supermarkets on the high end brands to get good deals or look in the likes of B&M/Home Bargains too. My latest bargain find was in the reduced section in my local co-op. Even before I was doing Slimming World my kitchen felt off colour without tinned tomatoes or passata in it, the fact that they are now free on Slimming World is an added bonus. Really, as well as being budget friendly and versatile, tomatoes are so so good for you, full of vitamins and goodness What's not to like?

Everyone will have their own ideas of what to do with tinned tomatoes obviously but I use them for chilli con Jamie (made with brisket), batches of tomato sauce, tomato and orzo soup, ragu, pretty much every curry I make and (thanks to a friend) I have a recipe on standby for Spezzatino con Salsicce (beef braising steak stew with sausages) which also contains a tin of tomatoes. Tinned cherry tomatoes are a bit pricier but make a luxurious tomato and mozzarella lasagne, or add some garlic and chilli to the cherry tomatoes with capers and stir through pasta. You really can't go wrong.

Trust me.

Warm

So, here's the thing. I haven't done much blogging in the past few weeks. Not sure why. We have had a lot on and in honesty I've been in a bit of a rut. September shaped up to be a very busy month during which I have still managed to lose weight (just). We have done a lot of eating out (burgers, pizzas, fish and chips) and drinking (wine, beer). Although I made it to the end of the month unscathed, it was a far from successful month in termsbof average weight losses.

My 100lb dream is now scrapped.. well, not scrapped, but modified. I have 9 weigh ins left before Christmas and 25.5lb to go. It's not likely and I have reduced my 2012 target to 91lb (6.5st) which would still be a tremendous achievement, and I would hope upon hope to get my 100lb by 25th January 2013, which will be my 52nd Slimming World class. With clarity of mind, I think that this in is a more sensible target. My current loss stands at 74.5lb so I'm looking for 16.5lb by Christmas, not least because I really fancy buying a dress in a size 14 for my work Christmas party. As I am wearing 16 dresses and tops just now I think I can do it. Of course I have another busy weekend ahead, dinner and drinks on Saturday night and another meal out on Sunday.

However just because I have a heavy weekend ahead that doesn't make it a heavy week and so today I have been 100% on plan, rocking it old school with a porridge breakfast and soup lunch. Regular readers and good friends will know that soup ain't my thang. I have found one I like though and yes it's s bit dull but it is warm and cheap for the winter. It's my homemade Tomato soup. (To really make this my way you would need to check out one of my previous posts, Big Mama for my soffrito. Failing that sub the soffrito for 1 carrot, 2 onion, 1 stick of celery and 1 garlic clove, all chopped or whizzed in a processor.)

Tomato Soup - serves 2-3

3 heaped wooden spoons soffrito
1 tin of chopped or plum tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato puree
500-750ml chicken stock
Black pepper
A pinch of chilli flakes
50g dried orzo, cooked
Parmesan, to serve

Saute the soffrito slowly for 10 minutes or so until soft. Add in the tinned tomatoes, puree and 500ml stock, stir then season with pepper and add a pinch of chilli flakes. Bring to the boil, then simmer for 25-30 minutes.

Blend to smooth in a blender. For a really smooth finish, push the soup through a sieve. Add the extra stock now if it's too thick for your taste.

Serve piping hot with the pasta served through and cheese (parmesan for choice) sprinkled on top.

Think of this as a healthy, homemade, pimped-up-and-not-so-sweet Heinz-a-like. It is free on Slimming World apart from the parmesan although to be honest you hardly need anyway for real flavour, and the pasta adds a real hearty feel to it. It is warm and tasty and toasts from the inside on cold, wintery days.

I've made a few batches of this now but have totally failed to take a picture of it. Instead I've attached a picture of some of the other things I've made this week. I'm back into breadmaking so I've knocked out a couple of loaves as well as pot roast soy and lemon pork loin, ginger puddings, chicken cheese and BBQ stuffed jacket potatoes, faked berry ice cream and a honey and 5 spice stir fry.

Yum.

Bat out of hell

You know those perma happy tv families? They sit around the dinner table, gleaming and grinning, Colgate smiles all around as a suitably smug tv mum (Linda Bellingham, maybe?) serves up something hot and delicious to twinkly, smiley children?

Yeah, we aren't like that.

My children are young and no, mealtimes aren't always easy. Kids can be very high maintenance and mealtimes can be a nightmare. A combination of trying to instill table manners in a not-yet-four-year-old and her younger sister, plus making sure your little ones are full of healthy foodstuffs can be a real challenge. When you find something that they eat with gusto then, which fits in with your diet, your heart sings. The thing with Slimming World is how well it fits in with family life. Eating with your family, around the table is so important (in my opinion) and being able to dish up healthy, family meals which embrace all cuisines is an absolute dream. I am not looking ahead to a life of the same two meals and since we only get to share the table as a family twice weekly I don't intend to live on fish fingers either.

Luckily my girls are generally good eaters and Megan in particular will give anything a go and Heather - although slightly pickier than her sister - will mostly try new things eventually, even if some prompting/cajoling/bribing is required. This alone Heather has added paella and jumbo prawns to her "likes" list.

The other thing we have all tried together was meatloaf. It isn't something which most Brits eat much of, and I include us in that. I think I have written before that I am a bit fussy about mince but I followed my old fave, Jamie Oliver and his meatloaf as published in Ministry of Food. Meatloaf sounds weird and looks a bit odd but having now made it, served alongside the tomatoey, chickpea barbecue sauce in the recipe, wedges and veggies I will most definitely be making it again. It was a couple of syns but worthwhile, and I could cut them down a little bit too. Cooking for family and friends is a joy, particularly when I can enjoy the dish too, guilt free.

And clean plates certainly help.